“I felt like such a failure” – Emma’s story

Although Emma was excited about her newborn, she developed postnatal depression after a traumatic birth and found her eating disorder symptoms creep back up. With support from a postnatal charity, she is now in a safer place.

Thinking becoming a mum would be a wonderful experience, I was so excited getting everything I needed together to become a mum, and counting down the days to my maternity leave and due date.

Among the busy days of excitement, challenges happened too: the stress of trying to sell our 2 bedroom flat and buy a house, my husband getting stressed and smashing plates if there was a dirty cup in the sink or something not in the "right place". I put his behaviour down to the stress of becoming a parent or moving house.

Finally the big day arrived and our daughter was born. But the birth was extremely traumatic. The labour was long and the baby got stuck. When my baby finally arrived, that "sudden rush of love" didn't happen.

I felt like such a failure.